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Sports news
from our Sports correspondent;

Jim Curtis

Click here to read his latest match report from the
3rd XI game v Stone

Slack Tom loves a line.

Sin City is known for its extravagance, flamboyance and simply magical entertainment offerings. Those who are looking for a bewitching experience on the Fros Vegas event calendar this summer should get tickets to see Tom Pinker, the world-renowned slack liner, who is the most successful performer of his kind.

Tom a Fros-Vegas resident for many years is building up quite a reputation for having one of the most daring and courageous shows in Show business. Do not miss out on this extravaganza that will change your life.

At the young age of 14, the Fros-Vegas native began practicing his walking and quickly developed a real gift for speech too. He has really worked hard and is the complete athlete, when not performing Tom can be found down the gym, the pub and even on some occasions in bed.

Tom recently has appeared in the hit Movies the Hangover playing the part of Alan a loveable rogue who gets his friends into all sorts of trouble in Vegas.

*Alan and in the background Bradley Cooper, Pinkers co-star in the Movie.

If you see Tom around our fair city please stop him and ask him for his autograph, he loves giving back to the community.

Catch Tom’s show throughout the Summer, St Johns Ambulance is on standby.

I’m a human being too.

“One day I’m at a W.I meeting in Harrogate the next I’m running Nets down at St Peters, it is simply an outrage.” Explains Paddy Kirk look-a-like and second team skipper. The guy is treating me like a piece of meat. “Why can’t Paddy do it?”
Although after being giving this great gift, the loving father of two, Downey claims enough is enough. “About time I got paid”. Bookings are now flooding in thick and fast it would seem David Beckham, Freddie Mercury and Sven-Goran Eriksson are no longer in demand like they where 5/10/15 years ago.
Downey has been involved in a new gaming sensation which is sweeping the cyber nation. It involves the Second team Skipper/Vet from Leonard Stanley/Emmerdale and some northern lad.

Can you spot the difference? I certainly can’t and neither can his very own son I am told. “Read me a story Paddy? Are you going to put me in the car Paddy?” Behind every good look-a-like is a good woman and this is no exception, However it is starting to wear a bit thin back at home when our star is starting to bring his work home with him. Vicki said to me the other day whilst in the Casino at Noggers Palace “he walked in last Saturday night with three baby calfs, a lamb and a Cricket bat. It’s time for a holiday I think.” But not before the loving Wife and mother of two has some serious words with the agent of Ali Kirk or Paddy Downey.
“I’m going to have some serious words.” She said.

You can see Paddy Kirk performing Live in Fros-Vegas every other Saturday throughout the summer and will be doing a book signing at the Beer Festival, he will be situated in Cider corner.

Nick pictured here dining with fellow celebrities in an exclusive Cirencester restaurant.
A well known face here he even has his own crockery.

Break from rehearsals

Also spotted in Cirencester last weekend taking a break from their strenuous world tour, none other than
'Old Blue Eyes' Frank Hudd, 'Little Old Wine Drinker' Dean Richardson and Sammy Choudhury Junior.
They later went on to perform an Acapulco version of 'Singing in the rain' whilst juggling balls in The Park

Rumours have been floating around Sin City regarding this potentially huge headline news story.
They first came to light a couple of years ago when playing in a charity cricket match at Pounds Close
in the Frocester desert sands. The Frocester stalwart had decided he was going to unleash a new action that was about to make him feared throughout the cricketing circles of Gloucestershire and beyond.

Nick went on to deliver fairly forgettable figures that day, mainly due to the fact everyone
was still a little jolly from too much Sherry the day before and maybe a couple of glasses of bubbly and beer,
or WKD's in Nick's case earlier that day.

This was to prove to be just the beginning. earlier this season Mr Wilks produced something out of his kit bag
none of his team mates could believe. It was so shocking that normally mild mannered super hero Dave Richardson
(a staunch gay activist) was lost for words. He was quoted as saying "I'm lost for words".

Wilkins claimed in an interview on Oprah that it will give him the runs and saying
"Oh yes....yes it is very good wood, I'm so pleased with it". he went on to say "The colour scheme I chose is
a delightfully eye catching pink and goes very well with my new special towel that came with the bat.
I just can't wait to play cricket than have a shower to show the boys".

The rumour mill has been working overtime this week following these revelations.
One rumour is claiming that Wilkins has landed a job for a season at the World famous
'Nogger's Palace' supporting Elton John as he plays in front of dozens of cows each
night including a Sunday afternoon matinee, which has been attended by numerous sheep from around the area.

Everyone here at FVHQ (Fros Vegas Head Quarters) would like to wish Nick all
the best and hope that maybe he could send some tickets our way for his next performance.

Dramatic news how Sam Birch look-alike Justin Bieber
could be playing at a Beer Festival near 'The Strip'.

News has filtered through that Sam Birch look alike Justin Bieber will be playing
the Fros Vegas Beer Festival this year. The news has come in at the right
time for the music committee who were concerned that the Rolling Stones
were simply not responding to their calls.

The booking of Bieber to this prestigious festival should boost ticket sales
and a younger crowd of teenage fans will flock to Fros Vegas on August
Bank Holiday. Organisers of the event are said to be replacing about
a hundred barrels of beer with a selection of fizzy pop and squash to cater for
the adoring fans.

The news however has come as a bit of a blow to Sam Birch, the man who
Bieber models himself on. He is worried that this will bring a lot of
unwanted attention to the diminutive first team star. Sam was
later quoted saying "I'm a diminutive first team star, this will bring a lot
of unwanted attention". He went on to say
"I just want to concentrate on my cricket and be all I can be".

The word on the streets of Fros Vegas is that Justin Birchie and Sam Bieber are going to
be doing an 'on stage' collaboration with Barry Manilow
(or Nick Wilkins if Manilow is unavailable)
and the Wu Tung Clan covering the Automatic's
' What's that coming over the (Frocester) Hill'.

Some corners of the club are extremely excited by all this and Jack Pinker the
chairman of the Birch/Bieber fan club summed up their feelings by
saying "Wicked Blood, that is sick news".
Our sources on the street believe that this is meant as a positive statement.

Tickets are selling fast for this special occasion, and of course none of this has happened!!

First up, caught taking not even a crafty one before going in to bat Don Pearce.
Appearing for a one night only comeback gig to mark the anniversary of 50 years at Pounds Close.

Don, one of the former members of the Rat Pack, is caught relaxing back stage in a pair of turquoise sling backs with
coordinated shorts and top prior to entering the stage. Always the fashion icon one can see he has lost none of
his flair for the outrageous.

A complete natural and showman, Don showed that he has lost none of his ability to perform on the big stage.
Seen here with a magnificent fart propelled dive to his right to take a catch and also hitting the ball to
all parts of the ground in his supporting role of batsman. As in the past glory days Don received a standing ovation
from all those downwind of this Maestro. Those unfortunate to have been up wind are recovering well it must be said.

I am calling on all you paparazzi out there, if you have scoops, stories, pictures
please send them to me at tonybray@frocestercc.com

All just for fun of course, there is no intention to cause offence in any way and this page is just good old fashion Frocester micky taking.